My journey with tarot

I could say that my story with Tarot is kind of short, since I started really to get interested in it around 2019. But then I clearly remember that as a child I have been doing divination using numbers and regular playing cards, without knowing what I was exactly doing. I found it so fascinating to use a seemingly odd object to talk to “something” or “someone” and indeed get an answer. The feeling of establishing a connection was very exciting and intriguing. The mind, feelings, intuitions and dreams always were very interesting to me, mysterious, especially how they worked and influenced human behavior. Long time later in my adulthood, I decided to study psychology, I thought this was the way to find the answers to questions that somehow I didn’t knew how to formulate. Almost at the end of my career in that subject, I decided to abandon it, it was not fulfilling me in the way I expected it to be and also, a new path appeared in front of me, that one looked much more exciting so I took the chance and changed my life entirely. This change, although positive, was hard and somehow drove me to a nihilism and neglection of any spiritual matter, which for me has been always very important. The consequence of this was that I went so far away from myself and that I was no longer aware or present in my own life. I wasn’t taking proper care of myself and my body. It was when I turned 27 that an increasing sense of confusion, accompanied with chronic physical pain and a huge lack of satisfaction drove me to a crisis and I started to look out for something that could help me understand what I was going through, something to alleviate my pain, since the doctors were not finding anything wrong with my body, there must have been inside of me, in my mind, somehow… Then I started to try new things, making big changes in my life (again), like eating healthier, learning Yoga, reading again about psychological matters and suddenly there was the spiritual subject back in my life. As I was younger, I don’t remember to have come into direct contact with Tarot, but I have heard of it. It was around my 20’s during my psychology studying, that I remember thinking that none of those things were real, nothing but a mind trick performed by people who wanted to take advantage of the ingenuity of their peers and make some easy money. But as surprising and funny as life can be, as part of the process of reconnecting with myself I stumbled into Tarot while I was exploring new realms of things to learn. I ended up back into those mysterious subjects I used to enjoy as a kid and other things I have heard from an uncle, lucid dreaming, ghosts, etc. Despite what many may think, about how legitimate these subjects are, in my own experience, they have been proven very real, like dreams, prayer, contacts and even magick. One must only have to be available, open to see it, to receive the gift of knowing and entering a new realm of awareness, because it's what it is, an awareness of things that are just there to be seen and experienced by those who are brave enough for it. Brave because you will be confronted, very much with yourself, all the time: your own assumptions about yourself and reality, as well as with fears, shame, biases, judgements and long forgotten memories. To be able to open oneself to new things, whatever that is, you have to let the old go, you have to make space for the new. This has been my experience with Tarot, with Astrology, with life I can say, because pretty much everything and everyone is in constant change and everytime a turn comes around, whatever has no solid base will fall and whatever is strong enough will remain. And what was there, but we were not able to see, will be seen after the old structures crumble and then we will remember who we always were.